Homemaker vs. Feminist

So, I've been feeling a bit under the weather due to a minor surgery I had recently. My husband has been amazing. He hasn't let me lift a finger for 2 weeks now. I'm talking no laundry, no dishes, or other piles that are slowly building up around our apartment. I didn't realize how much of a homemaker I've become in the last year until I wasn't allowed to do anything around the house anymore. I'm just aching to do dishes and laundry and clean clean clean. Pesach is coming!!!

The question I have to ask myself though, since I never really was much of a neat freak, is: Am I just aching to clean because I can't? I hope that isn't the case, because that eliminates the theory that I've grown so much into the role of wife-keeper-of-house-etc... Once upon a time that kind of title would have left me fuming. I would be horrified at the very idea of being called a "homemaker." However, besides becoming religious, a different reality has dawned upon me after being married for almost a year. If I don't do it, who will? Furthermore, I like a clean house. Beyond even that, I like to make my husband happy by keeping a clean house. When the house is clean, he is grateful and I am grateful that he is grateful. Thus, good feelings all around.

This is where I can't help but relate all this to the sage wisdom Judaism supplies us with. No matter how much I used to believe women should empower themselves by shedding traditional roles, its just so much easier and more fulfilling to give in! I love my role as a Jewish woman. I am better at it than my husband will ever be. My husband is better at his role than I will ever be.

One more quick note: My husband has also been doing all the cooking for the last couple of weeks. I love his cooking, but I'm so glad that we mutually agree that I will be the main cook in the family. Yes, we had a discussion, and there is an agreed non-equality in our kitchen. I get first dibs at cooking and even when he does cook, he downplays his role and gives me most of the credit for it. I miss having control over what goes on in my kitchen so much....yes, the feminist that I once called myself is very much gone. Thank G-d for that!

A great Aish article about the gender role differences by Tzippora Heller, one of my mentors:
Men and Women: A Jewish View on Gender Differences