Brainwashed and Fanatical...

A little about the title of this blog....since my husband asked me to elaborate.

A lot of people hear the word "orthodox Jew" and think "brainwashed and fanatical..."  

Maybe having lived on both sides of the religious divide...and knowing what both sides have to offer, makes the choice I made about how I live my life seem fanatical...yes, I agree.  

But about this brainwashed business...Since when is knowing more called brainwashed?  I don't mean to boast, and in saying this, I realize, I am basically admitting to boasting, BUT...lets examine the situation here.  Unlike many secular (non-practicing Jews), I took it upon myself to learn something about what Judaism is all about.  And no I did not turn to the very American and new born reform movement which offers the easy way out for Jews to feel Jewish without actually doing anything really commitmental (thats not a word and this is a run-on sentence like whoa, I know).  And no, I did not turn to the conservative synagogue (which is btw, a greek word for what Jews call Shul), because the conservative movement is a modified version of orthodoxy.  I felt iffy about a modified Judaism... Each conservative synagogue does something differently, which, to me, does not scream truth.  So for the truth, I turned to the original: Orthodox Judaism.  Orthodox has such a negative connotation really, so I think for the purpose of this post, I will call it classical Judaism.  The unobstructed Judaism that our ancestors have been practicing and living for generations is what I chose to examine when questions about what is Judaism really about sprang up in my head.

So...I did what would be considered the normal thing to do when one has questions.  I researched and talked to the people who were practicing Orthodox Jews.  Don't get me wrong, I didn't go down without a fight.  I came into the Aish Center (http://www.aishcenter.com/) on the Upper West Side with a feeling of superiority.  I knew that what they thought they knew was ridiculous.  Ha. 

After a year of questioning and watching from the sidelines, I decided, enough watching and time for more doing.  I decided to take a year long hiatus and see what all the hype was about.  Where better to learn about Judaism than in the land of our ancestors: Israel??  So I went to seminary.  As scary as the name may sound, since seminary is also the word priests use for the place they go to learn about their religion, it was not.  Seminary is a place women go to learn about Judaism.  A lot of orthodox girls go after high school for a year, and than there are those like me, who are simply Jews looking to learn something about who they are.  

I spent the year in seminary learning everything.  From the traditions and their origins, to how and why Jews pray.  It was mind boggling.  How could all of this unbelievable information exist in the world, and be so hidden away at the same time.  

Now going back to my original question about being brainwashed...  Could/ should one who chose to educate themselves be called brainwashed?  I think prior to knowing anything about Judaism, and believing all the horrible misconceptions that Jews have today, would be called brainwashed.